The task was to wash the dishes. Sounds pretty simple, right? I mean after all, I love, and I do mean LOVE, to clean. It's my therapy, and in a time where we are confined to the inside of our homes living life in physical restriction, what would be better to do than to wash the dishes (AGAIN...)...until I started thinking. Thinking about the goodness of a God, who, at one time in my life, was just an entity in the sky who seemed to have forgotten about ME. How could a God who everyone claimed to be so "good" allow such atrocities to happen to me? How could a God whose very name meant LOVE allow such hate to invade our world? As a little girl fighting through more than adverse circumstances and low self-esteem, I wondered. My life had to be some type of science experiment gone bad, some afterthought coming after he had created someone else to live a better life than this, some sick joke...WHY bring me here to suffer? WHY create me to be rejected time and time again? As a young girl I wondered...WHY make me different? What was so bad about ME? As a woman with two degrees, a home, a business and a marriage that was ok by worldly standards I wondered...WHY AM I HERE?
There are so many things I want to tell YOU...so many things that you should know that helped to bring me to the THIS moment where my tears- tears that overflowed from a grateful and thankful heart- blended effortless into the dishwater saturated with bubbles and the smell of a refreshing promise of cleanliness....newness....where the old had been wiped away and there were no traces of what was on the plate or the glass before...Spotless vessels ready to be used. My life. ME. READY. I cried in THAT place of newness, the promise of a renewed sense of purpose, and yes, even in the midst of a pandemic, the strength of a God's promise who said He would NEVER leave me or forsake me. My heart is captivated knowing that although there were so many others who made that same promise to me and left it unfulfilled, the Creator of heaven and earth gave me a promise that I can hold on to, and when I look at my life, I see it. I KNOW it. I FEEL it. He was there all along. I see evidence not haphazardly placed in my life but intentionally orchestrated pieces of the puzzle put together to bring me to THIS place in my life where I am free to LOVE and LIVE in PURPOSE and in PROMISE.
And it is the same with YOU. Everything- good and bad- has brought you to THIS moment, in THIS era and THIS time. You are not a mistake. You may have made some mistakes, but YOU are not a mistake. YOU are not an afterthought. As a matter of fact, God's mind is full of good thoughts toward you. Yes, YOU! He is so in love with YOU! YOU amaze Him! He is so in awe of YOU, His best creation by far. There is so much potential in your PAIN to birth PROMISE it's crazy!!!!! There is so much in you that you have yet to discover. A year from now you can look back at your life and be stunned about the person you have become simply because you decided to live with intention....you decided to heal....you decided to be authentically the person you were always created to be...TAKE THAT IN...
Boy, oh boy, I REALLY do have some things to tell you.
I am glad that YOU are safe.
I am glad that YOU are here.
I am glad that WE are HERE together.
Welcome to The Journey. Strap in. It's going to be a gooooooooood ride.
~Your SisterGirlfriendCousin~
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